Mother's Day and Kinship Caregivers

Mother's Day can be a complicated holiday for kinship caregivers. Many of them didn't plan to be parenting (or parenting again in the case of grandparents or grandfamilies) and it can be a reminder of their new identity. Children and caregivers can feel a lot of grief because the child's biological parent can't be a major part of their life, whether that's because of substance use, incarceration, death, or violence, and it can bring up trauma that the child experienced as well.

Kinship caregivers might also feel neglected or unrecognized on Mother's Day. They are doing a lot of hard work parenting children and they might feel Mother's Day is for the biological caregivers. Schools, churches, and other organizations might forget that kinship caregivers exist, which can mean that things like art projects, recitals, and recognitions don't have a place for these kinds of families.

Kinship caregivers aren't the only ones who can feel conflicted. Children can often feel pulled in two different directions, navigating their loyalty to their parent and their caregiver, and they might feel caught in between. They can experience complicated emotions like grief, anger, or betrayal or they might wish they could see or live with their mothers. They might even feel torn about who to celebrate on Mother's Day, the caregiver who is raising them or their biological mother.

Despite these challenges, kinship caregivers are stepping up for the children in their care. They provide children with love, stability, and safety and they step up when it's important.

We can help by remembering to recognize caregivers, particularly during emotional dates. As you're preparing your Mother's Day celebrations for a school or church perhaps remember to recognize the many mother figures in people's lives, whether those people are their grandmas, aunts, siblings, or just close friends. We can also take this time to offer practical help to these families, whether that's babysitting for a grandchild, providing a little financial help, or just checking in. Consider recognizing grandparents and kinship caregivers in these Mother's Day celebrations and make sure that you have cards, flowers, or art projects for all of the maternal figures in a child's life.

Together, we can all make a difference to help kinship families feel a little less alone and a little more seen this Mother's Day.