Mother's Day and Kinship Caregivers

Mother’s Day can be a deeply meaningful occasion, but for kinship caregivers (people raising a loved one’s child), it is often layered with complex emotions. Many caregivers did not anticipate stepping into a parenting role -- whether for the first time or again, as in the case of grandparents and extended family members. This day can serve as a reminder of that unexpected transition and the responsibilities they have taken on.

For both caregivers and children, Mother’s Day may also bring feelings of grief and loss. When a child’s biological parent is unable to play a central role in their life, due to circumstances such as substance use, incarceration, death, or violence, it can surface difficult emotions and, at times, past trauma. These experiences can make the holiday particularly sensitive for everyone involved.

Kinship caregivers may also feel overlooked or unrecognized during Mother’s Day celebrations. Despite the significant role they play in raising children, traditional acknowledgments often center solely on biological parents. Schools, churches, and community organizations may unintentionally exclude these families, leaving caregivers without the recognition they deserve in events, activities, or tributes.

Children in kinship care can experience their own internal conflicts. They may feel a sense of divided loyalty between their biological parent and their caregiver, unsure of how to navigate their emotions or whom to honor. Feelings of grief, confusion, anger, or longing are common, and some children may struggle with the question of how to celebrate the day in a way that feels right to them.

Amid these challenges, kinship caregivers continue to show remarkable dedication. They provide stability, safety, and love, stepping in during critical moments in a child’s life. Their role is vital and deserving of recognition and support, while also honoring the ongoing importance of biological parents in a child’s life and identity.

There are meaningful ways we can offer that support. As communities prepare for Mother’s Day, it is important to acknowledge the many forms that caregiving can take. Inclusive language and activities that honor grandmothers, aunts, older siblings, adoptive parents and other caregivers in addition to biological parents can help ensure that all families feel seen without diminishing any of these relationships.

By being thoughtful and inclusive, we can help ensure that kinship caregivers, biological parents, and the children in their care all feel recognized, supported, and valued. Together, we can make Mother’s Day a more compassionate and affirming experience for all families.